| Fake Cock |
[07 Jan 2010|12:00am] |
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Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood - Summer Wine |
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There is an all male sex show on Soi 4 that is supposed to be pretty fun. It involves two men, a ladyboy and a coke bottle enema gang bang (among other things). Of course every time I want to see it, something comes up that prevents me from going.
I did see a fake dick show at Jupiter with Guy and his hot, Austrian, fuck partner, Klaus. The show involved like 2 hours of teasing and katoey cabaret and ended with the go-go boys whipping out fake dicks. Their real dicks were squeezed into a prosthetic penis to make it look as if they had a big, hard, cock. It was pretty hilarious.
Go-go boy #74 looked like a younger and hotter Keanu Reeves. He wasn't one of the dancers who whipped out a fake dick. He probably gets enough paying cock without having to do that.
Klaus was pissed off because some French cock promised him that Jupiter had the best fuck show in town. After seeing the coke bottle enema fuck show the night before, he was expecting something more toned down but to actually have fucking in it! There was no fucking but there was some simulated sex with a katoey and two go-go dancers, but they all had their underwear on. :(
I think Guy enjoyed the show for the Broadway aspect. The dances were well choreographed and a lot of effort was put into the performance. I was happy to see that the katoeys at Jupiter were the same ones from Club 9! Their performances were much better than at Club 9 but the drinks were also twice as much.
After getting cock teased at Jupiter, Guy and I went drinking & dancing at DJ Station & G.O.D which are my favorite clubs now. Klaus went home after the plastic cock show to sulk and cruise for international ass at http://www.gayromeo.com/
Klaus is fucking hot btw and has a HUGE cock. He's at least 9 inches, probably a little bigger. He's like 6'4 and built like a swimmer, very lean and muscular and his accent sounds exactly like Werner Herzog. When I first saw him, he was sitting in his posh hotel room, wearing tight blue Speedos and cruising on gayromeo.com. As soon as he noticed me staring at him, he apologized for his appearance and ran into the bathroom to put clothes on. What a tease!
I also went to a lesbian bar on Saturday and fucking loathed it. It was the most sexless and uptight bar I've ever been in. Why can't real lesbians be like the ones in the porno? These were Thai lesbians too so that made it even worse. I doubt most of them were actually even gay, they looked like women just hanging out and being boring prudes. None of them could dance either but As soon as the bad lesbian Thai rock band started playing, I had to ditch my lesbian friend and rush over to meet Todd at Glow and then got extremely wasted at my favorite dive bar, Wong's, where I humped on a hot ladyboy's leg all night:
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| 5AM post: yay for gays & insomnia! |
[25 Dec 2009|05:51am] |
That pic better fucking work. Let me know if it doesn't. It's hot.
Last night, Todd's old club friend, Guy, came to Bangkok with his boyfriend for a vacation. He's from LA but he moved to Laos 3 years ago. Todd hadn't seen him since he moved away so he was happy to meet up with him. Guy ended up being really cool, all of Todd's friends are cool actually. I like all of them and most of them have become my friends. Anyway we had some drinks at Soi 4 which is the gay street right next to Patpong.
Patpong and Soi 4 were totally decked out in Christmas shit, I wish I had a fucking camera but imagine a busy street with a shitload of go-go bars decorated with Christmas lights and Christmas trees and prostitutes in Santa hats...Bangkok is nuts about Christmas and even the brothels celebrate!
Oh my god, I have horrible news...Club 9...which had the best ladyboy show in town every night at midnight....is fucking CLOSED! They changed the name to I-don't-fucking-care and replaced the ladyboys with crappy house bands that do bad covers of American songs!!!!!!!
RIP Club 9, that is really some sad shit :(
So Guy, Todd and I had drinks where Club 9 USED to be :*( and then moved a few streets over to Soi 2 to dance our asses off at this packed gay club with cheap drinks.
Fuck I love gay clubs so much! Gay means happy for a fucking reason!
There is something about the atmosphere at a gay club that shits on every str8 club I've ever been to. Granted, straight clubs in Los Angeles totally sucked cock by the time I was old enough to start going to them. But even straight clubs here in Bangkok are boring.
Most of them are either filled with wide-eyed, rich, college hipster kids or creepy farangs cruising for Thai whores. It's funny to watch that for a minute but it gets old. Straight Thai people can't dance for shit either.
There's nothing like crammed asscheek to asscheek with a bunch of shirtless men who are singing and dancing their cocks off to Madonna. I could do that every fucking night!
I don't identify with straight men or women or even dykes, I feel like a gay man with tits. Which is probably why I gravitate towards ladyboys so much...
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| embracing your inner whore |
[11 Dec 2009|10:02pm] |
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Shit, a lot has gone on...I don't even know where to begin...I went on an awesome tropical island dream vacation last weekend and had a fucking spectacular time. I would show you pics so that you can see how gorgeous Koh Samet is...but my camera got wet while kayaking! Needless to say, my camera is dead, RIP, but hopefully my memory card is still ok. There were some good pics in there!
So on top of the gorgeous beach, the white sand, the awesome Thai massage right by the water, the cute tropical fish I saw while snorkeling for the first time and the fun kayaking on the warm tropical sea....there was this cute blue bar about a two minute walk from my treehouse hut with the best pina coladas on the planet....but not only that, the owner of the bar was a weed dealer and busted out a bag of pre-rolled joints made out to look like cigarettes! I bought ten of them.
Lounging on a beautiful tropical island with an orgasmic pina colada in one hand and a joint in the other is perfection. I could have died there happily.
In other news, today was my last day before my 3 week vacation. I'm free! I want to shoot a ladyboy documentary and/or porno and volunteer at this wildlife center helping take care of elephants. That would be awesome! I just emailed the center so hopefully they get back to me soon.
Doing the ladyboy doc/porn is going to be hard since I don't speak Thai and most of the ladyboy prostitutes do not speak English. None of the friends I've met here know any ladyboys or if they do they won't help me out, I'll just need to keep frequenting Nana and Soi 2 until I find someone that will give me an "in" to that scene.
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| pussy |
[30 Nov 2009|09:58pm] |
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Einsturzende Neubauten - Blume |
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Sometimes I wonder who besides the fucking Japs can get off to rubber pussies? I've watched many a lesbian porn in my day and lately I've been really picky about what I can get off to. I noticed I can only enjoy a certain kind of pussy. No matter how hot a bitch might be, if her pussy don't make the grade, I can't get off. So let's review the kind of pussy I can get off to shall we?
Hair:
Even though I personally have not had pubic hair since I was 13, lately, I've been enjoying a bitch with some hedge. Shit, even a 70's cunt fro' can do the trick if everything else is in place, but bald beaver don't cut it no mo'.
LIPS:
Loose lips sink ships, or so that ancient Chinese proverb goes. When it comes to loose to goose pussy, Kaitlyn Ashley is the queen supreme loose cunt of them all.
Ever since "Clockwork Orgy" I've been hawk eyeing that bitch's cunt and enjoying seeing it spread eagle over an entire buffet table and back again.
There's some medical procedure where girls with too much flap can actually trim their labia....this one porn star actually put her trimming into some fucking trophy and showed it to Howard Stern. OUCH BITCH! Fuck that shit. If you're flapping as you walk, let the lips flap loud and proud I say!
HOLE SIZE:
Since I don't have a cock, I really don't give a shit how big a bitch's hole is. What matters to me is the tits size, tongue size and labia size.
But at the same time, mondo roast beef flaps don't turn me on much either. It's a tight rope man, a fucking tight rope.
Maybe in the end it all depends. I mean, typically I'm only attracted to bitches with D's or bigger but then I find Sasha Grey attractive. Maybe it's the ass:
Women are just complex creatures. Too complex for even me to say they need to be a certain way in order to get me to want to fuck 'em. It's not like guys where they HAVE to be over 7 inches for me to even consider slipping off my panties.
Guys are easy. As long as they are hung well and look like serial killers, I'm in.
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| postcard |
[21 Nov 2009|02:02pm] |
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mood |
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BTW I really want this:
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| you've seen Gummo right? |
[14 Nov 2009|03:54pm] |
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mood |
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Ego Plum and the Ebola Music Orchestra - Funeral Dirge LIVE! |
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That was awesome. I really fucking love youtube, it's stupid they have all that copyright and censorship bullshit though, EVERYTHING should be allowed to be uploaded.
BTW Todd and I are ok, he's still mad at me but he loves me. I just really need to stop directing my craziness at him. I hate that I keep doing that. He doesn't mind my being a crazy bitch, but he doesn't like it when I attack him. Fare enough. I'll just go into the other room and scream at the wall until I learn to control it better.
Fuck I need to finish my script, maybe I'm afraid to or something. I don't know why I am having such a har,d fucking time but I want to make this NOW!
I wrote a possible ending where the villain/hero gets crucified by a hot Mexican virgin with big tits and then gets shot in the face with a chrome shotgun, all while laughing hysterically. So far, I'm happy with that ending but I still need to finish the rest of the 3rd act to make sure that's the best one. But shit, who WOULDN'T want to die like that?
In other drug news, I found out that the e here is tested on dogs! When they make up a batch of e they test it on dogs to see what the lethal dose is before selling it...so they kill dogs every time they make a new batch. I can't do e anymore after finding that out. It really is better I stop doing that shit since I don't have any serotonin to begin with and e just sucks it all up so right now I have like -4834 pieces of serotonin which is why I act like more a sobbing psycho after I do it.
But Todd found some shitty weed the other day, now we need some papers or a pipe. Still need to go on a pill run but I'm broke from my Coming Out of a Vagina day.
Holy fuck I want to see this!
Harmony Korine is an inspiration. I <3 crazy fucks.
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| Halloween Countdown! 6 days to go! |
[25 Oct 2009|09:03pm] |
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michael jackson - thriller |
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6-6-6 days until Halloween! I am a zombie again this year for the 4th time in a row!
This will by my first Halloween out of Los Angeles. Apparently, there are a shitload of Halloween parties happening here. I'll be performing with the "Thrill the World Bangkok" dance team at a night club on Halloween night then going party hopping and getting trashed on the cocaine train all night long. Can't wait!
I was stupid enough to tell this chick I work at the Christian school with about Thrill the World so she joined it with me:
She is really fucking lame, I almost feel sorry for her but feel more sorry for myself for having to like hang out with her so much for this event! We have nothing in common and she is really boring and a total square. We performed last night at this mall for a radio show which was fun:
We also performed at 7:30 this morning in front of some big ass hotel simultaneously with over 40 other countries in order to break the world record for world's largest simultaneous Thriller dance!
It's a pretty big deal, the head demon herself, Oprah, is covering the event on her show in honor of the Michael Jackson movie coming out this week and to make more assloads of money:
So I'm stuck trying to figure out how to ditch my coworker after the Halloween performance, there is no way I can get on the cocaine train with a lame ass from work! That square bitch ain't ruining my favorite night of the year, that's damn for sure! She just tried to add me on Facebook but I ignored her, she's too lame to even belong in my "restricted for squares" Facebook friends category.
Anyway, on to the countdown, where I'll be posting some Halloween related shit for the next 6 days until Halloween.
As you might have noticed, I have an awesome new icon now:
Mr. Scruffles loves his ghost costume. Mr. Skullfuck couldn't be bothered to make one since he was too busy cruising for whores and ketamine.
As you can see, the bats were high as fuck and the pumpkins were rolling on e. I had a hell of a time keeping them in line!
Ghosts can't get high since they're dead and spiders just like eating blood and are naturally high anyway so they were easier to direct, but in the end it was a fun photoshoot and a good story was created for the kids in honor of this most awesome of nights.
Thus begins the 2009 Halloween Countdown! It's a story I wrote and illustrated about the spirit of Halloween. Those of you who have me added on Facebook have seen this already but I'll post it here for anyone who hasn't seen it:
The Ghost Who Was a Total Dick
Enjoy!
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| Bangkok high |
[10 Oct 2009|12:23pm] |
Got drunk and dropped e at some shitty techno club last night. The e here is so fucking good but I'm hungover right now and grinding my teeth. I hate that part. I also haven't eaten anything today because food looks like dogshit to me right now and I only slept for 2 hours next to my worn out copy of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" hahahah!
I'm going to have to go out into the world all strung out and wild eyed right now because I need a fucking power supply for my laptop in order to work on my script. I want to finish it by my birthday as a present to myself. I decided to turn it into a graphic novel first to raise money for the movie. An artist friend of mine agreed to look it over and see if he could illustrate it. I hope he can, his work is beautiful and he's fucked up in the head like me so it would be a good collaboration.
This movie needs to be made, if I accomplish one thing in my life it has to be this. I want to make more features but who knows if I can? I need to at least do this one. There is this fear it will be shit or totally ignored but as long as I am 100% happy with the script, it should be ok. I love the script so far, hopefully others will love it too.
I just got paid for the month and totally blew through my money. The pay at this school is so shitty but the sad thing is relatively speaking, I make damn good money for being a teacher. I don't know how long I can keep waking up fucking early and working 39 hours a week for a shitty monthly salary that I spend in one week, that's another motivation to get this graphic novel made and published.
So shitty pay and shitty music scene but the e and ladyboys are good. I still love Bangkok and am happy being her bitch.
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| I fucking love ladyboys! |
[05 Oct 2009|03:24pm] |
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That's my favorite ladyboy at Club 9. Don't you just want to sodomize her?
I was so fucking hungover when I went into work today, I had to leave early. I think I was still drunk too. All I remember from last night after the show was chasing after a hot ladyboy hooker up and down the catwalk and her trying to run away from me hahahah.
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| madness |
[04 Oct 2009|09:43pm] |
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michael jackson - thriller |
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Todd went to LA two days ago to visit for two weeks. I am going fucking INSANE by myself! The problem when I am alone is that I just fly away mentally and have 0 sense of reality. Todd is the only person I'm comfortable around so he helps remind me when I am going too inside my own head.
This is supposed to be "good for me" and "teach me" to "learn not to be fucking crazy" but it doesn't work that way with me! I really don't think I can last two weeks like this, I'm already going rabid!
Maybe I just need one of these:
Although I don't find that thing therapeutic at all. It seems just as annoying as those furbies that I ended up taking the batteries out of so it's squealing mechanical voice would stop echoing in my brain.
I am trying to keep grounded and not fly away, today I started my Thriller dance regimen for the Thrill the World Event!
http://thrilltheworld.com/
It's when people from all over the world dance to Thriller simultaneously to break the Guiness book of world records and raise money for charity. They're having an event here in Bangkok so I started learning the dances via youtube:
There will be live rehearsals every week until the event. It sounds fun and gives me something to focus on besides being alone and insane without Todd. I'm pretty pissed off at him for leaving me here alone for two weeks. His birthday was last night and I ended up calling him like every 5 minutes, sobbing and being mad at him. I'm sure his friends were like "wtf" but seriously, he knew what was going to happen if he left me alone for two weeks. I am having a hard fucking time here.
If I had some real friends here it wouldn't be this bad but I don't. We made a few friends but they are mostly Todd's friends. They're a bit too normal for me to feel comfortable around them. It doesn't help that one of them made a joke about my being fat the other day.
I'm fucking 135 pounds and 5'5, yeah I'm out of shape but calling me fat? The problem is I stress about being fat daily so him "joking" about that shit didn't help me. Now I feel too fat to hang out with them since technically all the girls that hang out with them are fucking bony Asian bitches so yeah compared to them I'm a total fatty.
I need to befriend some ladyboys. I love them because they have this "work with what you have" attitude and can be fabulous no matter what. I wish I had that sort of confidence.
Tonight I'm going back to Club 9 with my fatty crazy self to check out my favorite ladyboy show. I need some fresh air and inspiration. Wish me luck!
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| voluptuous vagina 5 |
[25 Sep 2009|03:43pm] |
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nurse with wound - the bottom feeder |
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...add that to the list of porn titles for future movie projects...did you know it's illegal to make porn here? WTF? Apparently, LA was THE place to make porn...shit!
A big set of tits and some loose lips that sink ships will cure what ails you!
I'm waiting to go to the Bangkok Film Festival in a few hours. Todd and I are watching "Antichrist". I've been dying to watch this for awhile now:
The trailer has nothing to do with why I want to watch it. I like that the trailer gives nothing away but what hooked me in was reading about a scene where the female lead "crushes [the male lead's] genitals with a block of wood, the pain driving him unconscious. While he is still unconscious, She masturbates him until he orgasms, ejaculating blood onto her shirt and face."
It is scenes like that and other atrocity exhibitions that really caught my eye. I've been a fan of rock hard sex and violence since I was a wee lass. I have a soft spot for such things. I don't have insane hopes that this will be another "Nekromantik" but I am hoping to at least be entertained. That's all anyone can hope for really.
"District 9" was actually really good. It just came out here last week. I enjoyed the story, acting, cinematography, dialogue etc. I'm actually very picky with what I consider to be quality entertainment and was overjoyed to watch something that I actually enjoyed on various levels.
I also really loved "Inglourious Basterds" but I knew I would.
I love Nazis and Quentin Tarantino. It was a fun movie and Nazis make me horny. Also Quentin has directing down to a science where he could be jerking off on a Chinese midget whore while drinking champagne, watching "Bumfights" and directing a movie about zombie trannies in space and the dialogue, cinematography and directing in his movie would still be flawless. I hope to one day be that good.
Right now I'm getting drunk on $3 Thai whiskey, waiting to go to this upscale movie theater in the biggest mall in Thailand...tickets to all the film festival movies are $3 each.
$3 buys a lot of Happy here. I am in paradise.
http://www.bangkokladyboyescorts.com/
In other news, I need to wait to get my Visa before I do anymore drugs in case I need to take a drug test. I hope I have it before my birthday because my plan is to celebrate the big 2-7 doing a shitload of good e and partying with some beautiful, tranny whores.
"Anything worth doing is worth doing right."
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| yum yum! |
[14 Sep 2009|01:34am] |
Ok that trailer was shitty but that actor playing Dorian Gray is fucking hot so I want to watch this while masturbating until my vagina falls off.
Today I am officially excited about Halloween. I read x-entertainment's Halloween countdown and cannot stop thinking about pumpkins and rotting corpses. I don't know what I am going to be yet but it will be good and fucked up I'm sure.
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| what would you doooo... |
[12 Sep 2009|10:19am] |
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almighty opp |
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I hate when I get really drunk and wake up all early because the alcohol wore off. I wish I had some Urban Detox..that shit totally cures hangovers. Right now I have the alcohol shits. I'm lucky I didn't throw up yet since I mixed Mojitos, cheap Thai whiskey and some other shit.
The only other thing that would work is tacos with a shitload of Tobasco but I'm too hungover to go to the market. Maybe I can just drink it straight.
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| I'm back! |
[07 Sep 2009|01:09am] |
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jubilant |
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Finally had the internet hooked today up in our new Bangkok apartment. I LOVE this apartment! 2 bathrooms, one bedroom with an extra 1/2 room...black tiles in the shower...cool 60's pop stripey walls in the livingroom...nice view of a Buddhist temple and no apartments in site so we can walk around naked and fuck with the windows open...yeah it's kind of pricey, especially since I'm getting paid shit now, but it's worth it. We're going to have an apartment warming party this weekend with some friends that we met here. Awesome apartment, cool group of friends, fun job...things are really coming together.
Not to be redundant but I really fucking love Bangkok. I was talking about this with one of my new Bangkok friends last night and we decided that it was impossible to put into words why we love Bangkok, I've tried but words cannot express the feeling one feels when you go to an exotic new location and feel like you're finally home. There is just something about this place...Todd was trying to explain it to me before we moved here, he has been here like 10 times and had been dying to move here and he would talk about how much he loved it but I never understood why exactly...until I actually came here....
It's not just the food and the trannies...but of course that helps, shit, it's not even the amazing e or the funny like minded friends with a dark sense of humor...maybe it's a combination of all that plus thousands of years of culture that I find aesthetically pleasing...there is just something about this place...I feel so fucking lucky to be here.
Todd and I had to go to Laos on a Visa run last weekend which is how we spent our 2 year anniversary. I can't believe it's been 2 years already! It freaked me out actually, I hate the passing of time. It reminds me that I'm aging...I hate aging.
Laos was cool, I wish we could have seen more of it. I didn't know until last night that there is opium in Laos, there isn't opium in Bangkok, you need to go South for opium and even then it's risky. That's the one thing that shits on my parade here: Thailand is very anti drugs and they will put you in jail for life in their shitty ass raping mud hut prison if they catch you doing drugs here...at the same time I met people who have been caught but bribed the police and got away free...BUT they were Thai and rich and were able to communicate with the police. I think a broke ass foreigner would have less luck....
It's a gamble, anything can happen here...thankfully only good things have happened so far...
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