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After a month of not getting laid...last guy was a Scottish guy with a huge cock who never called me back...I met a super fucking hot boy last night at a Halloween party. He looks like a mix between Ezra Miller and Keanu Reeves, he's Thai/British but sounds/acts American, not only is he hot, super smart, reads Hunter S. Thompson, Philip K. Dick and other writers I love, and has great taste in films, he's also a very talented filmmaker!
I took him home with me...as soon as I saw him, I had to have him. He slept over, we fucked and made out a lot, and then had a really nice Sunday brunch with my BFF Gaby at this shisha/Mediterranean restaurant. She totally approved of him.
He came over again this evening so we could have a youtube film festival where we showed each other our movies. It was so fucking hot. He's a really good filmmaker and he enjoyed my movies, especially my Anton Steele commercial:
We have different styles and can totally learn from each other. We ended the night by watching This Ain't Star Trek XXX and he shot his load in my mouth as Spock was getting a blowjob from Jenna Haze, fucking love that scene!

I am trying not to get my hopes up...but damn he's everything I've been looking for: hot, talented, sweet, crazy, and we have the same philosophy on life...we had the most esoteric philosophical discussions about the meaning of life in between fucking...it was a great night....last night and this night.
This is him. His name is Sacha Nathan and I really hope this goes somewhere, there is so much potential.
As for LA boy...fucking hell, where to begin? I still love him and care about him and I ended up telling him how I feel. I've been hiding it for like 6-7 years and we were getting so close....as close as we can get via emails and some bad shit happened to him recently so I was worried he was going to kill himself because he's super bipolar and always depressed...so I told him I loved him and he got flirty, telling me he wish he was sleeping next to me and even said he was jerking off to thoughts of me because I sent him an email telling him that I wanted to take a nice long walk on the beach with him, get down on my knees, and slide every inch of his cock down my throat until I choked. Him saying that shit is really forward for him, he never talks like that so I thought I had finally gotten past the iron steel electric fence that surrounded his emotions.
Then all of a sudden, a day after he said he was jerking off to me, he fucking snaps because I asked him about an email he had mentioned he wrote in response to my telling him I loved him. When I wrote that he didn't respond for a long time and I was like "OMG I just poured my heart out and you're not saying shit?!" so I was freaking the fuck out...of course I would have loved to get a response of "great, let's fuck!" but I would have just been happy with "I'm flattered but I can't be in a relationship, I'm too fucked up" which is the case with him.
But he didn't respond at all until I sent him an email saying "omg I'm dying here, tell me SOMETHING!" He of course flipped out, said he had been working on 10 different emails to respond with and that I would have loved the last email he wrote but because I was "pressuring" him, he sent me a bitchier email...but then we resolved things and that's when he said he wished he was sleeping with me. I thought everything was going to be great after that...
So he gets flirty and we become closer...he even read my Clown Goes Mad script and gave me amazing feedback! I was so happy for a couple of days when I thought "this is it, we're going to be something more finally" but because I asked him about that "nicer" email he had mentioned he was going to send to me, in a totally like "oh btw" totally not serious or pressuring him...he took it the worst way possible, as bipolar people tend to and freaked out on me and said I was asking too much of him, how he didn't want anyone that close to him, and even said that my affection was making him scream and punch shit because he didn't want to be responsible for my feelings because he couldn't even make himself happy.
I responded with a bunch of long ass emails, telling him I was not expecting anything from him, especially not to make me happy and that I had no idea he would take my love and affection as a bad thing. He's in a really fucked up place if my loving him is making him punch shit and scream.
But because I'm bipolar too and I do care about him a lot, I've been continuing to send him emails and hope he responds.
Even if, hopefully, this thing with Sacha becomes serious...I still want LA Boy in my life and I will always love him. I tell him practically every day how much I care in hopes I can get through to him.
I'm really worried he's going to kill himself. I will be fucking devastated if he does, that's why I put my heart out there and even though he stomped on it due to self-preservation/fear of intimacy...I have continued to keep trying to reach out to him.
So that's what's been occupying my vagina lately, I had been super depressed over the LA Boy situation, especially since he hasn't typed shit to me since exploding...but this new guy I just met last night has me feeling a lot better. I am trying not to get my hopes up...we just met and there has to be something wrong with him, he is too perfect...but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
We have a date again on Halloween and he's been really affectionate and attentive and compliments me constantly about how beautiful I am...he could be the one to get me to stop whoring around. I know we just met but we clicked so well, especially since I was totally ready to throw in the towel on fucking Bangkok boys, we'll see...
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